skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
When in an argument or debate or heated discussion, it feels so satisfying to have the final word. It feels good to say, "I am right and you are wrong because of a, b, c and 1, 2, 3. And I will listen to you no more. Good-bye."
To our flesh, we feel like we've won. It's a statement saying that you will not be manipulated or told what to do or made to feel like a lesser person. And you've sent the other person a zinger and hopefully gotten the other person to shut his or her mouth. To think about what YOU had to say. What a satisfying feeling. What if the other person also wants the last word?
But is it really??? Maybe it's easier to just be done with it. Accept what the other person has said and not continue. Give in to the idea that there are different opinions and you are entitled to your own. There is no guilt for pushing needless buttons. No stress over the discussion continuing. No zingers sent back to you.
In our computer-centric society, it's so easy to send out all the harsh words and negative comments and not feel any regret or guilt over what has been said because "it's just the internet." Tone of voice and emotions don't translate easily through the internet the way they do via our mouths and ears.
When one has to have the last word, no last word is ever had.
But when you can just walk away from the discussion without saying anything more, you can show maturity and willingness to grow and learn and not always be right. The hardest part, however, is not saying, "I'm done talking about this, I will have no more. I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away," because that puts you down low again and shows you trying to have the last word, yet again.
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
There are a couple phrases that really irritate me beyond believe. Two of them are, "In all do respect," and "No offense...."
They seem like excuses for the speaker to say whatever he or she wants to say without getting in trouble because the statement was prefaced with "no offense....."
If you are concerned that what you are saying is going to offend me, and you don't want to have a dialog with me if I am offended, then don't say it.
Those are NOT magic words that take away any hurt feelings or pointed fingers. They do NOT soften the blow. In fact, they often make things worse. They make it so that I'm prepared to be offended or disrespected.
Very, very rarely can someone start at statement out with either of those two phrases and I am not upset, hurt, distraught, offended, etc.
No offense, but I think your hair is ugly today.
No offense, but your breath stinks.
No offense, but you're wrong in what you think and how you raise your child.
The third one is the gist of the statement I got today.
Basically I was told that I am overprotective, silly, my doctor is wrong, and I don't need to listen to him. And I'm supposed to be OK with being told all this because it was all prefaced with, "In all due respect."
Ummm ... telling me that I'm overprotective in raising my daughter is disrespectful. Telling me that my doctor is wrong without knowing my doctor is disrespectful.
GRRRRRR..........
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Today's contemplations, thoughts, questions, or other rambles..... Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter
Posts
