Thursday, October 28, 2010

Confession is good for the soul ...

...or so they say.

So I'm going to make a confession.

I'm terrified.  I'm absolutely terrified of having 2 children under the age of 2.  I'm afraid of not being able to give Audrey the attention she needs while still meeting the needs of a newborn.  I'm afraid of not being able to fully recover from a c-section with a toddler at home.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to do laundry to have clean diapers for either child.

I'm afraid of the sleep that I won't be getting.  And how this change will affect the existing relationships.

I think that I have more apprehension regarding this baby than I did when pregnant with Audrey.  I was ready to have a baby when I was pregnant with Audrey and I knew that I'd be able to handle the challenges that a newborn provides.  But I feel like I'm going into something that I have no business being near by having 2 kids so young.  YIKES!!!!!!

I know that these are all perfectly normal things to be concerned about.  And that many women have done this before.  I know that things will ultimately be OK and I have to just find my groove.


Ali said...

Don't worry mama. I'm going through the same thing. It often has me in tears. But think of how awesome it will be in just a short time. Audrey will have a best friend for life. God doesn't give us things that we can't handle. Sure, we are challenged but there are far worse things that we could be challenged with. Hugs mama!

Christine said...

Thanks Ali.

I know that everything will be OK ... I just had to voice my apprehensions and concerns. Can't let the world think I'm supermom! ;)

Debbie Haughland Chan said...

The time will come when you will be GLAD you had them so close together.

Di said...

You will be amazed at how easy it really is. My younger 2 are 18 months apart, and I was a single mom with no help. Things just work out.

Mu'minah said...

Aww sorry to hear you're feeling like that. My advice would be to change your thinking. I've always thought positive thinking was a load of crap but I used it when I had my little boy. I used it at the birth. I thought "I can do this. Not only can I do this but it's something I want to do. I can handle it". I couldn't have got through the birth without that. I do the same with the sleepless nights. I am only 19, having a baby was a big deal but I just focused on the fact that I. Can. Do. This.
Hope this helps hun :)

Out of My Mind said...

Well, now, are your feeling a little better? It looks as though the 5 people who commented had some good advice.

I am a lot older than them and i have a little more experience, but i still agree with them. Nothing is more important than what you are doing now. And, yes, this time will fly by and you will be glad that you had them this close together. My two were 3 years apart and fought like cats and dogs until they got older.

More importantly after a couple of years you WILL look back on this time and remember it fondly. The key is to dwell more on the wonder of it all, do the cup half full thing, and laugh a lot. Find someone in the same (or similar) shoes to talk to. Above all tell yourself OUT LOUD what a great mom you are and how grateful you are for this opportunity to have two miracles to love.