Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The final word....
When in an argument or debate or heated discussion, it feels so satisfying to have the final word. It feels good to say, "I am right and you are wrong because of a, b, c and 1, 2, 3. And I will listen to you no more. Good-bye."
To our flesh, we feel like we've won. It's a statement saying that you will not be manipulated or told what to do or made to feel like a lesser person. And you've sent the other person a zinger and hopefully gotten the other person to shut his or her mouth. To think about what YOU had to say. What a satisfying feeling. What if the other person also wants the last word?
But is it really??? Maybe it's easier to just be done with it. Accept what the other person has said and not continue. Give in to the idea that there are different opinions and you are entitled to your own. There is no guilt for pushing needless buttons. No stress over the discussion continuing. No zingers sent back to you.
In our computer-centric society, it's so easy to send out all the harsh words and negative comments and not feel any regret or guilt over what has been said because "it's just the internet." Tone of voice and emotions don't translate easily through the internet the way they do via our mouths and ears.
When one has to have the last word, no last word is ever had.
But when you can just walk away from the discussion without saying anything more, you can show maturity and willingness to grow and learn and not always be right. The hardest part, however, is not saying, "I'm done talking about this, I will have no more. I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away," because that puts you down low again and shows you trying to have the last word, yet again.