Audrey's pacifier usage was driving me crazy one day and I just had enough. So I wrote this little funny for her.
My dearest Audrey Grace,
I am your mother and I want nothing but good things for your life. I can't help but sit back and watch you constantly hurt those who love you most.
I have seen your biky usage affect your life negatively in the following ways:
1. We can't understand you when you talkyoull
2. You are always out looking for the binky, whining until you find it
3. When it falls on the ground, you put it back in your mouth with no regard to germs ro cleanliness
4. At some point your teeth will be misshaped and you'll need braces.
Will you please get treatment today?
3 months later I am pleased to report that Audrey Grace is pacifier free. She doesn't use it for sleeping, she doesn't walk around with it, she can entertain herself just fine without it. She doesn't steal Annie's anymore.
I'm so happy and proud of my little girl. She has learned that we won't give it to her, she doesn't try to sneak one, and she's OK with Annie having one and not her.